Bambi on Steroids

I went running this week on the campus of Rochester Institute of Technology. And once again, I was scared shitless by their deer. They all took off running, except the buck. It all happened pretty quick, but I think he was about a three pointer. Like a good platoon leader, he was covering the flank while the rest retreated. It was a bit disconcerting. How would it look if I died at 5:30 in the morning, gored by Bambi?

He finally took off too, but I was a little pissed. I think he needed to be put in his place and I spent the next mile mulling over my options. Only two seemed to be worthwhile.

1. Hold an annual lottery and let the winner shoot a deer on campus. There could be a pageant and maybe a 5K Run. Basically, a good time for everyone.
2. Introduce mountain lions to the campus. WINNER!

I'm a big fan of option number 2 and I don't say that lightly. I gave a lot of thought to whether I would rather be in fight to the death with Bambi or a mountain lion. I have a cat at home and I have totally kicked its ass before. I'm sure a mountain lion is basically the same.

But Bambi, I bet he'd cut you in a second and laugh about it over a shot of tequila with all his deer buddies. Bastard.