TP = Total Perfection

I don't remember learning how to use toilet paper. I don't remember teaching my son to use toilet paper. It is one of those activities that I'm sure has parental influence, but I'm sure that the methodology develops and moves to its own tangents.

I was shocked to find out that some people are scrunchers. Sounds like there is a lot of potential for things getting messy that way. Myself, I'm a folder. Started as an eight-square folder. Worked out nicely. Eight folds perfectly into four. Four folds perfectly into two and two folds into one. One perfect, balanced, even square of ass-wiping perfection. And it is nice and thick to avoid any seepeage. If Bounty had a quicker-picker-upper of toilet paper, I'd be first in line.

But eight seems so wasteful. Besides, as I get older it is a pain to count out 8 perfect squares every time I eat a bran muffin. So today I will share my folding secrets for every number.

More than eight: Divide into two even parts to avoid excessive use of toilet paper. See rules below.
8: Perfection. No need to expand on the explanation above.
7: Fold three over the other four. Four folds into two. And two folds into one.
6: Fold in half. You will then have three. Follow directions for three.
5: Fold two squares over the other three. Follow the directions for three.
4: Fold in half to two. Fold in half to ONE PERFECT SQUARE!!!3: Fold the outside squares over the middle square.

One final piece of advice. Organization is important. I like to prefold while I'm in the process of "doing business". My first is usually a 7 or 8....its all about seepage. Then my follow-ups are sixes or fives.

I hope this helps. By the way, the toilet paper should ALWAYS roll over the top. Are you people crazy?