Monday, June 28, 2004

Reality TV

Okay, I’ll admit it. I love Survivor. It’s not a big secret. The interesting part is that everyone I know is aware of it and is always trying to get me to watch another one. “You got to see The Apprentice.” “Have you taken a look at Average Joe?” Every time I try to watch these, it just isn’t the same. The only other show I watch is the occasional episode of American Idol. And even that has been ruined by the blatant crassness and ignorance of the public. Could we maybe vote for someone with talent?!! Thank God Fantasia finally made it through. I could actually see myself buying her CD. But I digress……

I have the sneaky hunch that our elections for public office are very similar. I guess I should be encouraged that after all the mumbo jumbo, the audience did finally pick some talent. Maybe the American public will actually select a President that is sincerely acting in their best interest…someone that doesn’t have ulterior motives...someone who is willing to tackle the big boys and attack sacred cows. Yeah, right. Like Nader has a chance. And Bill Maher ain’t running…..

Anyway, I think we should create the Reality Show to end all Reality Shows. I would call it, “How Hard Is My Life?” Every week there would be about a half a dozen to a dozen contestants who get up and whine about all of the bad things that have happened to them. Abuse victims, amputees, war heroes, disease victims, wrongly accused criminals that sat on death row for 15 years. The possibilities are endless. America could then vote just like on “American Idol.” The pathetic winner could then win something like a free weekend on a tropical island with the hooker/gigolo of there choice. And then when they got back, they would receive a hunk of money (or an easy, no effort job) from some pompous, egocentric billionaire.

It would have something for everyone. The worst victims of our pathetic consumer, capitalistic society would have a chance at a bit of relief. The average TV viewer could finish it out feeling good about their own life. And some rich schmuck gets to have some face time with America and help feed the ego monster. Then each episode would end with some disclaimer that if your life is as hard as the people on today’s episode Call 1-800-FATE-BLOWS. If not: Shut up, stop whining, count your blessings, and go about your business!

Sex, money, tragedy, inspiration. It’s a sure-fire winner.

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